I am off work today. That seems like a good thing until it actually happens. It’s difficult to change routines, not just on myself, but on every member of the household. I’m normally up and gone to the office by the time all the others get up to start their day. Then I don’t arrive home until late in the evening, usually somewhere between 6 and 7 PM. I come in right at dinner time. I join the family for dinner; do some basic chores; give my toddler a bath; then it’s off to bed. I spend at most, 3 to 4 hours every evening with my family – not long. So, today, on my day off, I had a pleasant and relaxing day in mind. It has been far from that.
I’m not sure if it’s just the “change in routine” or what, but my toddler has been a living nightmare all day long. Everyone is edgy and it has been quite unpleasant. Perhaps I am dreaming and not being realistic when I long to have a “normal” at home, family day. I do realize that some of this could simply be driven from the fact, I’m not accustomed to the “at home” life. In contrast, I’m most comfortable at the stressful, fast-paced office work style.
I pray the Lord will give me more patience with my family and they with me as we adjust to a full house for a few days.
Happy Thanksgiving holiday time 🙂
”If you’re alone, I’ll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I’ll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I’ll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I’ll be your smile… But anytime you need a friend, I’ll just be me.”
What a very special weekend we had! On Saturday, we packed everyone in the car and went to the park. This might not sound like a great feat but when you are hauling an 81-year-old woman and a 21 month old, it is quite the task. Aunt Gene, the 81-year-old woman, seemed to really enjoy the fresh air and adventure. She had been stuck in the house all week-long and it was a joy to get her out for a short while. She’s doing so good since moving in with us. I was worried about how we would all adjust to another member of the household but my worries were for nothing. Everyone has adjusted easily and she fits right in. It’s a blessing to be able to have her with us and I love that we are a bigger family now.
At the park, my son refused to slide or swing or anything besides sit on the bench and watch the traffic go by. He was in an odd mood. Not sure why but he simply didn’t want to play at that time. So we didn’t stay long but left there and went to eat at Shoney’s. After that, I took him to a 2 year old’s birthday party where, again, he was not interested in playing. Well, let me back up. He was not interested in bouncing in the bounce house. What he was interested in doing was playing with the pedal tractor and wagon. This little boy is obsessed with tractors and wagons! Of course this might have something do to with his Papaw having a tractor! Well, he was in luck on Saturday! The birthday boy’s Papaw had a real tractor and offered to take us for a ride. We happily accepted! My son was in HEAVEN!!!! LOL It was a good day.
He spent the night with his Papaw and Nana on Saturday night, then I picked him up Sunday morning for church. We tool Aunt Gene to church with us too and she seemed to enjoy that as well. It was a really great weekend!
Here it is Monday morning and time for the rat race! But I will not worry about all the problems ahead of me at work. I will rest my mind on the Lord and know that He will enable me to do good work. I’m so blessed and so thankful that I know the Lord as my personal savior. Without Him I can do nothing. I pray that He will guide me and be with me all day every day. God bless all who happen upon these words. Amen!
We recently had a pool installed in our back yard and I must say that it is a pure delight. I feel like I am on vacation every time I step out my back door. Having breakfast by the pool on Saturday and Sunday mornings is becoming a habit. Arriving home from work during the week has become a race to see just how quickly I can transform myself and my son into pool attire. I’ve even been know to take a quick dip after my son goes to bed. Yes, we are truly enjoying having our very own pool.
However, my 17 month old son has been struggling with some fear issues when in the pool. I have been patient with him and slowly helping him to feel secure in his life jacket while within my reach. He does really well as long as I am holding him. But the second I let go, he starts crying even though the life jacket is keeping him afloat. I try to keep him entertained so that he will have fun while swimming but it gets so frustrating when all he does is whine and cry the entire time. This was the situation last night in the pool. Finally, I sat him on the step and told him to watch mommy swim. As I was making my way to the other end of the pool (backwards), he boldly stood up; gave me one of those “watch this” smiles; then proceeded to “jump” off the steps into the pool by himself. He didn’t reach for my hands. He didn’t cry. He didn’t whine. He laughed and laughed and laughed.
My son took a leap of faith, literally. I am still in awe of his bravery. Here is a lesson for us all concerning our fears. Make the decision to jump in, feet first, and face them. Believe that you can. Stop thinking about it. Stop whining about it. Stop crying about it and simply jump.
And there he goes, onward bound without even as much as a glance backwards at his mommy. At 16 months of age, his desire for independence is already peeking through (to put it mildly). He doesn’t want me to hold his hand or climb the steps with him. No, he wants to do it all by himself. Where is the “dislike” button for this? “Wait for me,” I beg. “Wait for mommy,” I plead to no avail. The strong desire to “do it on his own” has unraveled me a little. I want him to “need” me. I need him to need me. In a sense, I feel like a love-struck teen age girl chasing after the love of her life. He certainly has me wrapped around his little finger just the same.
I don’t have to ask. I know it’s only going to get worse. He’s going to continue to grow and demand more and more independence. He’s going to need me less and less. And my heart is going to break over and over. I thought I knew what being a mother was all about before I became one. I thought being a mother meant giving bottles, changing diapers, cooking dinner, cleaning, doing laundry, saying yes and mostly saying no. I never factored the emotional equation into motherhood. Sure, I always heard the old saying, “when they’re young, they’ll walk on your toes, but when they’re older, they’ll walk on your heart.” I thought I was safe at least until he turned 16.
An article on Parents’ website refers to this as a <a href=”“>”Toddler’s Declaration of Independence”. The article goes on to describe how my son, as a toddler, is attempting to balance “what he wants to do with what he can do,” and how this is an internal battle for him. I had not really considered this aspect of the power struggle and corresponding temper tantrums until now. Although I doubt it will calm my nerves at the onset of these occurrences, it does give me better insight and understanding of how his little brain operates. (Bless his heart!) Seriously, it must be tough trying to remember that he can’t touch the hot cup of coffee but he can touch the cup of juice. There are so many things to learn and understand that of course there are going to be moments of frustration and struggles between parent and child. However, this “declaration of independence” should have come with a warning label, “may cause excessive weeping and/or screaming”. I’m not ready to begin “letting go” at such an early age. But, ready or not, there he goes.
UPDATE: I just read an incredible post about cultivating a kind, gentle voice. It’s funny how often I’m led to just the right post at just the right time. Considering how much my patience has been tested as a direct result of my toddler’s new found independence, I desperately needed to read this!
I delivered my little miracle 16 months ago, but actually he delivered me. After having given up completely on becoming a mother, I was blessed at 39 years old when I gave birth to this precious baby boy. I have debated about a blog and decided that, yes, I want a permanent record of my mother/son experience. (Bragging might play a minute part as well). So, without any further ado, please give a great, big, warm welcome to My Little Miracle.
A Miracle from Heaven